You Are My Serenity... But Not My Destiny

If I ask a space in you,
would you be willing to spare it for me?
even if it is not inside your heart
even if it is the tiniest space ever
would you be willing to give me?

there were times when you still crossed my mind.
though I kept myself busy doing my daily life
Went out at six and came home at five
but then when I paused 
 all of a sudden 
you appeared without any cause.

there were times when I was having a very tough day
when I was in the state of physically tested
and the first person who got into my head
is you.
yes you.

And there were times when I felt emotionally ill
and needed something to hold onto just to stand still
there were times when I had the need to cry 
and needed a shoulder to let loose my sigh

and those moments when I was having a stormy gloomy day
is the moment when I wanted to run towards you
is the moment when I wanted to tell you all the rough and tough things I had
just for you to know.
just for me to share.
nothing more.
nothing less.

At some point as I looked upon a mirror...
I'd realize that I don't have the strength to stand on my feet either.

My mind can choose. 
But my heart doesn't.

Is it because I asked you to leave?
Or is it because you did really want to go?

If only you could see how hopeless I was 
and if only you could count the tears rolled down my face
on the day we moved on separate ways
on the day we decided to call it off

would you still be leaving?

( ... be it with or without me... as long as ure happy.)

A True Friend

"How did you know that i'm actually not ok? "
" Easy" Paused. " ... with the look in your eyes... "
" and with the Quran you hold all day long... "

Too Much

" Susahkan kalau care too much..."
" Too much of anything is hard..."
" Yeah "
 " Takpe. Better menyesal caring too much than menyesal tak ambil kisah. And things will Insya Allah get better soon... "


Feeling meh...

We pay for their bills, we pay for their fuels, we pay for their allowances, we pay for their claims, they make income like/over five digits of number monthly, living lavish life together with their families and all they can do for us are just hiking the prices and consoling the poors by saying <keep calm... this is for 'our' own good>... are you freaking kidding me?

#now TURUN...! we have had enough of your drama guys.


And so there's a time when you feel really blank
enable nothing but to pull inexpressible expression upon face
stiffed and statically up to nothing
dont know what to do nor what to hear
dont even bother the surroundings
just hoping... and hoping,
for a miracle to happen.

it would be easy if life has a backspace and undo button.
(but it's not life if the storyboard was perfect, right?
it is the lesson from the past that makes us wiser.
it is the downfall that makes us stronger.)

I want to go... elsewhere.

ah! I pulled out my tooth long ago but why does it hurt still? T_T

Note #26 : Believe

HE hears.
HE sees.
HE is never too far.